The Two Most Annoying Things About Facebook

i love Facebook as much as the next guy/gal. like the rest of the civilized world, i abandoned the MySpace ghetto long ago and now do my social networking exclusively on the 'Book. but there are two aspects of it i find aggravating. actually, these points aren't Facebook's fault, as they are user errors:

1. People who use photos of their kids for their profile pictures
dude, this is YOUR Facebook profile. are you really so devoid of a sense of identity that you have to stick your kid up there as your proxy? if i want to be friends with your baby, i'll send them a friend request.

2. People who don't understand the way status updates work
ok, gather around children. the Facebook status update is supposed to read like a sentence that begins with your name. for example, "Daemon Hatfield is going to the strip club." an astonishing number of people can't wrap their minds around this concept and instead end up writing something that doesn't make any sense, like "Daemon Hatfield At strip club."

just glancing at some recent status updates, here is what i'm talking about. names have been changed to protect the idiots:

John Doe "when i am king you will be first against the wall."

John Doe Go buy to Dark Was The Night, a benefit album including Sufjan, Arcade Fire, Grizzly Bear, Bon Iver, Beirut, etc! http://tinyurl.com/cxwxbl.

John Doe TNT starts @ 7pm at CCH. College students...get here!

John Doe At Fazoli's: "Gabe, do you want spaghetti?" "NO! I want pasta!"

John Doe At Cafe du Soleil in the Lower Haight getting work done. Stormy Weather crooning as I caffeinate and start a meeting.

John Doe someone got tased during school! hahah!!

John Doe at one point in your life, your age is exactly the same as the number p to an infinate digit and it passed in such a quick space of time that it wasnt even real.

none of these make any sense! come on, people. is it really that hard to type a verb? i know at least half of you passed the second grade.

Monster-0 on Facebook